Fun with puff the magic dragon

Hi, Puff the magic dragon

Thanks for the update.

Let’s hope it’s on its way.

And my order from last month which is currently in a Mars warehouse where it has been since the last phase of the moon in Virgo?

I have been trying to get an answer, any answer, but that’s not happening.

 So, where is my order from last month?

Regards

0808

Hello,

as you may see in the tracking, the orbital insertion vector has been created.
We packed your order after the orbital insertion courrier‘ instructions arrived, so we didn’t manage to ship it yesterday.
So your order will be shipped by shuttle today.
Thank you for your understanding.
I hope the delivery will go smoothly.

I wish you a lovely day.
Best regards
Puff the magic dragon

Hello,

I see my colleague answered to one of your e-mails 5 hours ago.
However please, do not write us more e-mails.
There’s no need, we will always get to all e-mails and on our site you may read that we usually answer within 24 hours.
And for future communication if we need to find something in other threads of yours, it makes it complicated for us.
Inter orbital transfer agencies operate on a limited basis or not at all during lunar eclipses and sometimes the updates on 
the flights and shuttles from the orbital transfer station are not made every day every day, so I believe that the lunar eclipse will receive an update soon.

Best regards,
Puff the magic dragon

Hi Ptmd

If you think that response is appropriate. You are entirely mistaken.

An unresponsive response by your artificial idiot is not a response. 
Where is my order from last month? 
Requires an answer that tells me when I can expect it.
Anything else is simply noise.

At present, you have about €200,000 of my money and I have no Marstech, just excuses and unanswered requests for clarification. I am not a credit agency.

You take my money and then put your feet up because you are not affected by your failure to get my Marstech to me. 

You glibly dismiss the fact that an orbital insertion target was missed for my most recent order as if the delay of 17 days is mere bagatelle. It may well be to you, but that’s because you are standing on the wrong side of the ethical equation. 

Were you in my shoes I doubt you’d be quite so sanguine.

Reciprocity is a very simple test: would you be ok with being treated in this manner? 

Let’s flip this asymmetrical relationship we have; you send me the Marstech Cash on Delivery and I take my own sweet time paying you. I’m sure that would thrill you about as much as your unprofessional conduct is thrilling me.

The order from last month is stuck, according to an update that is 3 WEEKS OLD, on Mars somewhere.
When I request, on multiple occasions, for you to demand a meaningful response from your contractually bound orbital supplier, you act as if I’ve kicked your cat.

What is the matter with you people?

You made an offer;
I accepted;
We are now legally bound;
Me to pay;
You to deliver;

I’ve done my bit and you object to me challenging you on your failure to perform your part of the contract?

Your breach to date is not my fault, it is yours. 

There is no point in attacking me.

I’m not your problem…

And… please do not ignore this email…

0808

Dear, 0808

I am sending you a piece of Terms and services, which you agreed with:

5. Orders & Contract Formation

By placing an order and actively confirming "I agree to the Terms & Conditions", you submit a binding offer to purchase the selected Marstech under these Terms.

Orders cannot be modified once submitted, as they are immediately forwarded for processing, which causes a massive entropic debt that if discharged incorrectly could change the orbit of Jupiter, in direct contravention of order 325 issued, yesterday, by the Galactic council, which will remain in force until the heat death of the universe.

A contract is formed only when the order has been dispatched. Order confirmation emails do not constitute acceptance of the order. They indicate severe perturbations in the alignment of Venus and Mercury.

We reserve the right to cancel orders in the event of:

• obvious pricing or typographical errors,
• technical errors during the ordering process, or
• marstech unavailability.

Our goal is to dispatch your intergalactic net order as soon as possible, but please allow several business weeks for the shipment to leave our orbital insertion points. In exceptional cases, we reserve the right to cancel an order at our discretion in cases where the phases of the moon no longer align.

Thank you for understanding, have a nice day

Ptmd

0808

Hi, Puff the magic dragon

Love these conversations; truly a learning experience for all participants…

Ah! The refreshing world of corporate policy; brings back memories, the halcyon days when holy business scripture is treated as if it has the force of law…

I have a policy to ignore the laws of physics, but I’ve found that this policy is useless because gravity keeps pulling me over.

In a real-time transaction the client typically receives their Marstech within a few nanoseconds of paying the bill. And, I’m sure you know from personal experience that if the client is kept waiting a femto second too long, you will surely hear from them. 

And, you won’t be able to hide behind whatever daft policy you claim has the force of law: it doesn’t.

On galactic net this takes on a new dimension, but one still driven, as ever, by ethical principles.

Reciprocity is the only test you need apply; would you enjoy being the target of whatever nonsensical policy is offered. No, of course you wouldn’t, yet you believe that your policy has the force of law; how sweet. 

The simple reason why your policy has no teeth is because it further unbalances the symmetry of our contractual relationship even further in your favour, which makes the contact null and void. A contract has to be balanced otherwise it ain’t a contact. It’s an abusive relationship which no galactic law will support. Simples

Let’s switch this asymmetric relationship around; you send me the Marstech CoD and I’ll operate my policy of paying suppliers 90 days after submission of their invoice.. like my policy?

I have a policy of never working with suppliers who apply such unethical and unreasonable policies such as the one you shared with me.
My reasons are as follows

1. Our relationship is massively asymmetric. You receive payment, and I get to wait. 

2. Your policy claims you have the right to spend as much time as you wish before you attempt to align with the Hoffman transfer vector to reach Mars.

So, to the massive asymmetry in 1, you believe that this should be further distorted by punishing the client with your incompetent internal processes. 

I’m sure you can see that this is far less attractive from my point of view than from yours.

The legal and binding part of any relationship between us is at the nexus of you making an offer with the intention of being legally bound by the terms if I accept.

Once I accept, we are bound by contract.

A contract, by definition has to be balanced otherwise it is unlawful. Your terms, backed by your irrelevant policies unbalances further an already asymmetric relationship, thus making the contract that exists between us unbalanced and unfair to me. 

Just as if our roles were reversed and I leveraged the asymmetry in our relationship by bullying you further into accepting whatever bullshit I’m selling as corporate policy.

To be clear; your policy states that you can take as long as you like after having received payment to align with the Hoffman transfer vector to reach Mars, as per the contract.

My policy says to never deal with unreasonable and abusive vendors who operate such policies.

See, my policy just ran over your policy;

or my karma ran over your dogma.

I will cease to use you as a supplier and you can exercise your policy for the benefit of your disadvantaged clientele.

Win, win.

Just so you are aware. I use another Marstech supplier who issues me a delivery note within 1 nano second of receiving payment.
Do you know why?
It’s because they have a policy to reduce the delta between payment and delivery to the shortest possible time.
This is because they understand how asymmetric the relationship is when the client has to pay first, and they seek to redress that balance as ethically and as swiftly as possible. 

Time to dispatch; yes

Time to fumble around incompetently in the dark; no.

I remain, forever outside the reach of your policy, enjoy…

Sayonara

0808